'Don't look where you don't want to go'

Comfortable. Relaxed in a crowded room. Nervous when flying only because it's FLYING and airport security lines suck, not nervous because the seats/aisles/beltswillbetoosmall and people are looking at you. Able to keep up walking through sand on the beach or up a mild incline on a hike or through snow. Ready and willing to jump into a lake, a pool, the ocean because it's hot out and the water will feel good. Pulling on a sweater over a long sleeved shirt in the winter and having it fit snugly yet attractively over my grown-woman boobs and healthy waist. Getting dressed in the morning with a choice of 30 different things to wear. Smiling more, standing up straighter, and getting out my head and into my lungs, muscles, eyes, ears, nose, hands, feet, and heart.

All of the above.


So hi. I hope a few of you are still out there. As soon as I click 'publish' I'm coming to visit you and say hello and see how you're doing. Here in Redondo Beach, I am mentally digesting the hippie-dippiest low carb book on planet earth, and I am unabashedly happy I did. The book is The Low Carb Revolution by one John McLean and- well, here's the cover:

It's enough to make you think I've gone and lost it; I know. The rainbow stretch pants, the quotes with capitalization, the random cut-and-paste of sushi rolls even though the book is about NOT eating things like rice- it's a hot mess. Inside his writing also leaves quite a bit to be desired- he talks to himself and makes jokes in the midst of sentences and there are some typos on the kindle version ($2.99!) of the book. However, I feel like it helped me make a connection over the past week that I've needed.

The science stuff in John's book is lifted (and credited to) Taubes, Eades, etc. and I read it all because being told again that fat doesn't make me fat is a good thing to remember. Reading about how harmful simple starch and sugars are for me (and that's me personally) is also a good thing. But we know/knew/understand all of that. 

The new ideas are about flipping the mind-body connection on it's head and I liked it. He theorizes that the mind 'doesn't' really control the body- ie you want to lose weight, you make lists, you post blogs, you promise people on pinterest and facebook that THIS IS IT- your damn mind is on board- yet you find yourself overeating just two days later.  If our minds were really in charge, he posits, then we'd all be size 8s (or whatever).  Your body is driving the ship and one problem we might have is that we are not talking to our bodies and we don't understand them because we're kind of hiding up here in our heads. That made sense to me. The title of the blog 'Don't Look Where You Don't Want To Go' is one of McLean's 'secrets' and it refers to what coaches might tell downhill skiers and snowboarders- basically as soon as you even acknowledge the possibility of going off track you inevitably veer in that direction and then you're fucked. McLean never says 'fucked' because he's a hippie but that's the message.

So this post is about today and tomorrow and looking where I do want to go. I've been starch/wheat/grain free for the last eight days and I'm sugar-free with the exception of very dark chocolate and natural almond butter. My meals are high in protein and fat and I've been drinking wine but feeling balanced. On August 29th which is this coming Thursday morning I will check in on the scale. It's been too long and I want to know. I also want to know how much I will lose between 8/29 and 9/29 and then again how much I will shed leading up Christmas. I'm ready to put my name on it.