I got through two days of calorie counting and 'daily' exercise before I gave up/gave in. 'This time' was going to be different in that I thought that monitoring my calorie intake would be a balanced way to turn things around.
I was wrong.
I can't do it anymore; when I eat simple carbs I feel sick, hungry, weak, and ashamed all the time. For me, even Clif bars are a gateway drug- a breakfast of 'whole grains', coffee, and splenda lead to a cream cheese pumpkin muffin 90 minutes later, pizza three hours after that, and a 'healthy' dinner followed by eating a box of wheat thins when everyone is asleep. When I get up in the morning all I can think about is getting a muffin or having something sweet/doughy.
This week I've also been experiencing an extra cute load of finger bloat and face puffiness. On top of that, my eyes are red, I'm peeing constantly and I'm starting to suspect that my pre-diabetic self is heading firmly toward Type 2. No. No. No.
So I just watched the documentary 'Fed Up' and even though I woke up this morning knowing I had to go very low carb again and stick with it, the movie solidified what I know to be right.
The very overweight teens and preteens struggling made me cry, but the words of some of the scientists and researchers gave me hope.
To wit: The very things that we associate with lack of self-control and are believed to be what CAUSES obesity- mainly, lack of exercise and giving in to hunger and eating too much- are caused by the insulin flood that comes from eating the wrong foods. The endless loop of frustration,of course, is that once you eat the wrong foods, you get hungrier and end up eating too much food, too.
The challenge at the end of the Fed Up documentary is about getting people to give up sugar and processed foods for 10 days. I'm about 5 hours into my day and so far so good. I still have time in 2014 to feel comfortable in my skin again like I did in March- it's been a bumpy, interesting year so far but it's not over and I deserve to make every day, every week a better one.
Love yourselves this weekend, friends.
Fed Up was great! I also felt so bad for the kids. I have found that statement to be 100% true! eating junk is what causes me to want to eat junk. I used to blame myself and feel weak and powerless over junk food ... sugar and carbs, even so-called 'healthy whole grains' are not for me. I was always hungry even just an hour after a 'healthy' meal. I constantly craved cookies, chocolate bars, etc. and would stop on the way home from work to buy them and eat them in secrecy before I got home. And I felt terrible because I couldn't control this behaviour. Eliminating sugar and grains was hard for about a week as I went through withdrawal ... but then I noticed something wonderful. I had no more cravings. I felt satisfied for hours after a meal. I didn't spend all day thinking about food anymore. It wasn't that I was weak after all, it was the sugar and grains, carby junk that made me lose control. Eliminating those was the best decision I ever made. Thirteen months later and 105 pounds lighter, I would never go back to eating that poison again. I love being in control. :)
ReplyDeleteThanks so much, Anna. The satisfaction for a carb-addicted person just never comes, and I know you're right. Today is day two and I slept better last night than I have since March, and I'm blogging while patiently waiting for bacon to cook in the oven. Have a great week!
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