In-Development Swagger (oh, and a weigh-in).

Has it really only been a week? It felt like a long one. My no-lbs-lost fit last weekend led to a good amount of food vigilance and a strong week of ketosis.  However, a girls night out dinner on Wednesday with red wine and Friday night drinking at home that actually led to a baaaaaad hangover  yesterday were the OPPOSITE of vigilant, healthy, and focused. The drinking had me worried but I also had a very low calorie 'recovery' day, so my 3 lb. loss this morning was not totally surprising.

Regarding the two previous weeks, I did a good amount of reading about the whoosh and low carb weight loss stalls and some of the 'recommendations' actually included drinking as well as having a cheat day or two to recalibrate. Right now I refuse to go there with eating a bunch of carbs, but maybe the drinking (even though I am not proud of it) did help. Either way, I am moving on and I AM 30 POUNDS DOWN!!!

I'm feeling good about finally hitting a nice round number, and I'm still experiencing the NSVs that are motivating even when the scale is stuck. This week I wore pants to work that were basically falling off and I realized they had to be retired- I'm down a full size and then some. My closet continues to gift me with 'new' shirts- I have a habit of buying things online only to find they are too tight. Sometimes I purposely buy them small hoping to fit into them soon.  This has been going on for probably the last 3-4 years so it's so satisfying now to finally get to wear them. I also don't have to do laundry as much because I am comfortably away from the 'fattest days' of this past fall when I had maybe 2 pairs of jeans, a couple pairs of stretchy black pants (mortifying), and like three shirts I could put on.

I read an excellent post this week by Bonita who talks about this interesting process of losing when you start at such a high number. At almost 80 lbs down, she feels like a super model yet to the 'general public' and even her friends she is seen as a regular old heavy person. I can certainly relate, although I will take a moment to say that I don't think it's a bad thing for us chunky ladies (and gents) to develop some in-development-style swagger. Yes, Allan, there are some bloggers out there who have been using the same lines now for far too long and have what you could call an overabundance of swagger wrapped in an ill-fitting denial Snuggie, but they're in their own special category.

Meanwhile, for everyone else working away at this, I think feeling awesome about yourself now is not only good but necessary. Self-deprecation is easy and boring.  'If you Build it They Will Come', 'Believe it Before You See It', and the creative visualization/dream board stuff is actually the hard shit. We're all going to have the days or weeks when we're feeling overwhelmed about how much more there is lose but let's not let the sassy/skinnyface/thighmuscleburn feelings get pushed aside. Every mile, every 1/2 pound, every workout, every time you realize you can slide a pair a jeans off without unbuttoning them- it all deserves acknowledgement. Have a sweet week lovelies!

Soul-killin' Stall and Waiting for the 'Whoosh'

Here's me; after the scale this AM-

:internal horrified guttural scream:  
stamping around the house
angry tears (quickly wiped away)
furrowed brow
chomping of fried eggs lovingly made by sympathetic husband
intense googling of low carb and weight loss stalls (i refuse to say plateau since its only been 2 wks)
teenager-like EYE ROLL

Fuckity fucksticks. Have you guys heard of the 'Whoosh' ? It's basically the theory that sometimes during fat loss, esp. during low carb dieting (YES I'M CALLING IT DIETING TODAY BECAUSE I'M ANGRY), your stupid fat cells are all empty and feeling inadequate so they start filling themselves up with water, replacing all the trigylcerides and other fatty stuff that the ketosis process recently sucked out of them. So technically you're losing fat but it doesn't show up on the scale until you dump the water. Really??? Really?

I don't know if this is what's happening to me and my dumb fat cells, but I have had some issues with bloating and thirst this week so I'm holding onto it for now (just like I'm holding onto water- ha!).  I exercised mid week and then had some peculiar issues with sandals that are typically comfortable getting so tight at work on Thursday that I had to slide them halfway off in the car. Then yesterday (Fri) I had a restaurant-made gyro-meat greek salad for lunch and grilled short ribs with unknown amounts of sodium for dinner. Also my left foot looks like a FRESH LOAF OF BREAD. Okay, that's an exaggeration but it does look puffier than it did a few days ago. Also, I'm getting angry again because when I went to image-search the word 'Really' the auto-fill for Google was 'really fat people'- um, what?!?? Fuck everyone.

Except, of course, you, dear reader. Thank you for letting me vent. In exchange for your sympathy and/or stories of your own weight loss stalls I promise not to go off the deep end this weekend. I had a 'good week'; I ate low-carb/paleo, I was in a nice pink ketosis all week, I stayed away from cream cheese and gratuitous desserts, and I was expecting a loss. I wore a couple shirts this week that I was unable to wear a month ago, the bras that used to cut off my circulation (you know whati'msayin' ladies) now fit fine, and despite the scale I FEEL GOOD. Therefore, I will not switch paths; I'll keep going. Hang on everyone.

Staying the same weight and CAPITAL LETTERS OF SHAME.

This week I planned on NOT DRINKING AT ALL (okay, after Saturday night). I planned on NOT EATING SUGAR SUBSTITUTES. I planned to EXERCISE MORE. I planned on LOSING AT LEAST THREE POUNDS.

Those were some sweet ass plans. This week was not the week I wanted it to be. Specifically, I didn't follow my own plans. I drank on Saturday, Sunday, Tuesday, Thursday AND Friday. I was stressed about Boston, I was busy at work, and I overdid it. On Friday (after they caught the fucker), I also had three Sam Adams to honor my home state and then upon entering them into My Fitness Pal saw that each 12 oz. bottle has 18 carbs. Egads. I did work out Saturday, Sunday, and Wednesday, and I was actually in ketosis all week but I drank a good amount of extra calories and futzed around with too many low carb desserts of the cream cheese variety.

Writing all of that out, I am okay with the fact that I lost zero lbs and zero ounces this week. I'm not flummoxed, I'm not 'mad at the scale', I'm not hoping that I secretly gained muscle and lost eight inches this week, and I'm not claiming that it was water weight or any of that bullshit. I ate too much, I drank too much, and I did not lose any pounds. I even waited until this morning (Sunday instead of Saturday) to weigh myself, but the scale showed me the exact same numbers as last week and I deserve it.

So onto a new week. Clean slate. I watched a documentary called 'The Perfect Human Diet' last night on the computer and it made me more excited about Paleo eating, and it also made me rethink just how much dairy we've been eating. Like my idol Poonapalooza, I am thinking that approximately 90% Paleo eating will work over the long haul. Her exceptions are cream in coffee and occasional nut butters, and those would also be mine. I don't need shredded cheese with every meal, and creamy sauces should be a few times a year, not a few times a week. It's also pretty embarrassing to admit I drank 5 of the last 7 days- red wine one night a week is something that I can plan for and still lose weight, but there has to be a limit. Finally, until I'm close to my goal weight, I will lay off the low carb desserts unless it's a truly special occasion.

I hope you guys all have a great week and stick to your plans.  There are about 9 weeks until the first day of Summer- for those of us with lots to lose, won't it feel amazing to be another 20-40 lbs down by then? It will be worth the sacrifice.

Love That Dirty Water

I don't want to write about Boston, but I also don't want to NOT write about Boston. I'm 3000 miles away in L.A. and I'm fine, and I have nothing to 'complain' about but I'm sad and worried and can't stop thinking about it. My younger sister lives there; she actually works at the Starbucks on Boylston St; basically right behind where the second bomb exploded. Apparently she had a shift in the morning on the day of (she's also a student at Emerson College, just down the road) and wasn't there when it went off but she was in the middle of the chaos because, well,  that's her neighborhood. None of her coworkers were hurt, and I don't think any of the marathon victims were her friends, but I keep thinking about what would have happened if the bombs were bigger, stronger, or if there were more of them. My friend Lisa's sister-in-law ran in the marathon and finished  just as the explosions started. In the link you can see how close she was. Her husband, mom, and two young boys were just a few streets away.  It's just...crazy. Awful. Impossible to understand. My heart is in the Bay State this week.

Meanwhile, my mind has been on work because it's busy, and I continue to focus on dropping weight via low carb high fat eating. I did get to the gym Saturday and Sunday, and I went again tonight (Wed) because I felt like moving, and I'm also having a 'hungry' week. It may be related to worry/stress about Boston, or it may just be related to my lifelong habits that are difficult to break. I've started 'adding in' some calorie-free stuff like Truvia and Vitamin Water Zero but I need to go back to no sweets. I strongly believe I'm super insulin-resistant or at least very susceptible to cravings so I need to stick to regular water and tea between meals. I plan to have a savory couple of days and I'm looking forward to another loss on Saturday.

For anyone who feels sad or lost this week because of the marathon bombing, please stay strong and take care of yourself. Finally, let's make sure we tell everyone who matters in our lives that we love them.

Oh, and if you need to be inspired a little bit, please check out a full stadium of Bruins fans singing the National Anthem tonight. Happy tears.

On my way to losing 175 lbs...27 lbs gone!

Please ignore the serious faces above. I AM THRILLED. The me on the left was taken in early October, 9 lbs into my Weight Watchers stint, so the difference is not actually all 27 lbs; it's 18. However, I do see a difference- especially in my waist.The low carb/ketogenic eating plan started at the end of Feb and now I'm finally at a new low for a total of 27 lbs down!!! I plan to hit 50 off by my 37th birthday on May 28th and I will gift you all with another sweet blue tank top picture.

So this week was my first full week back on low carb without a bunch of unnecessary drinking or carb-creep days and I lost 6 lbs (actually more like 6.4 but I've decided to switch over to the full pound results for purposes of my weight ticker and for the DRAMA)!!

As I mentioned on Saturday, I decided to track my food intake this week. I wasn't limiting my calories or portions, just aiming for 5% carbohydrates, 30% protein, and 65% fat. Basically, that distribution qualifies as a low carb/high fat ketogenic diet, and I ended up at an average of 8% carbs, 24% protein, and 68% fat for the week. My Fitness Pal reports also count the carbs without accounting for fiber so my 'net carbs' is probably closer to 6%. To make sure I was in fat-burning mode, I tinkled on a ketostix three times this week and got a pink (not dark pink or purple, just a solid mauvey-pink) result every time which means I'm in ketosis.

If this is new for you and you're considering low carb, I highly recommend starting with the books or articles of Gary Taubes, and then checking out The Art and Science of Living Low Carb. However, if you don't want to actually buy a book, check out the Diet Doctor at http://www.dietdoctor.com/lchf or this amazing page on ketosis: http://josepharcita.blogspot.com/2011/03/guide-to-ketosis.html - it gives you all the science, plus this nugget which helps explain how I lost 6 lbs this week even though according to that idiot My Fitness Pal and the old-school 'calories in calories out' theory I should have only been down about 2 lbs. The parentheses in blue are mine.

1G. One Will Lose Body-fat More Quickly on Keto Than Not 
 

The brain requires roughly 20% of daily maintenance energy (let's say 2500 calories will maintain your weight, your brain grabs 500 of those calories). Under glycolytic conditions (read: normal, high-carb diet- even a low calorie one) the predominate form in which the brain accepts energy is glucose (AKA sugars from carbs). 

Under fat-adapted ketogenic conditions the vast majority of the energy used by the brain comes from fat-derived ketone-bodies (basically there isn't enough glucose running around when you're eating low carb around so your body makes ketones out of your pudge to feed your hungry brain).
Under ketogenic conditions one will also sweat, excrete, and exhale fat-derived ketone bodies which can account for another 100 cal of energy lost per day. Say that a hypothetical person requires 3,000 kcal in order to maintain his weight-this person if under a ketogenic metabolism would lose an additional 580 kcal of fat than he would have lost if he had not been under a ketogenic metabolism (in short- a ketogenic diet cannibalizes fat to feed your brain, so you get to eat more fat and more calories than your friends on WW and actually lose more weight).

Regarding my personal calories and exercise this past week (Sat-Fri) I averaged 2120 calories a day, and I worked out on Saturday and Sunday only, burning about 1500 calories. As stated above, I lost 6 pounds, I was never hungry, and almost 70% of my calories came from FAT. By the way, my husband Adam also weighed in this morning and he lost 6 lbs in 6 days eating similar portions of carbs/fats/protein. 

Consensus: This is working. I'm going to track for another week and then I may or may not continue. I think it's kind of hysterical that when I complete a day with My Fitness Pal, their metrics tell me I'd be about 5 pounds down IN FIVE WEEKS if 'every day were like today'.

In non-scale victory news, my jeans and the dryer are now besties. I used to hang everything up to drip dry; now I'm trying to shrink my pants and they're still loose!

Have a super weekend!!  

 

Day and a Half to Weigh...

It's been three weeks since I've posted a loss. I desperately (dramatic? yes. true? also yes.) want to have a 'good' morning on the scale Saturday. I've been tracking with My Fitness Pal (which by the way sounds like a very lame doll from the 80s) all week, more so as an 'experiment' than as a way to limit myself, but I can't help but be slightly disappointed when I get close to or go over 2000 calories.

Last night was a higher calorie/heavy food day, and today I waited until lunch to have a meal so today will be lower. I feel that by staying low carb long-term, everything will balance out and I won't have to keep a food diary, but I don't quite trust myself yet.

For those of you who eat low carb, do you track carb grams or calories? I know that Poonapalooza eats low carb and low fat and lost over 100 lbs without counting or measuring, but she's also an amazing exercise machine. I'm not sure about other bloggers like Carbtripper, Happy Texans, Kaki or Judy from Carb Wars.

On Saturday after I weigh in I plan to post my personal stats about the carb grams I ate this past week, as well as percentages of fat and protein. On top of not exactly trusting myself after two weeks off the plan, I'm genuinely curious about my numbers and I think some of you might also be interested.

Righting The Ship! (or Let's Geek Out and Lose Weight, People)

You have to see what's happening before you can get to fixing the problem, right? Right. So the last time I weighed in I had just completed 28 (28!) very low carb days, eschewing diet sodas, carby veggies, all grains, etc. I had only a few alcoholic drinks during those four weeks. After completing those 4 weeks I was happy that I dropped 14 lbs, I was feeling sassy (yes I said SASSY) and ready to celebrate my husband's 40th in Vegas. We've been through this; I know. Well I did veer off course but because it wasn't insane I viewed my cheating as a blip on the radar, not an emergency. Just to be 'sure' I was back on track, though, I skipped my weigh-in last Saturday so I could, you know, get in a solid 7 days and post a loss today. Welp, to that Jakey G says:

 

I gained almost 3 lbs in two weeks. How? Why? Pretty easily. I went on vacation, and then this past week I stuck to low carb foods but drank wine four out of seven days, and then Thursday night we went out and had wayyyy too much wine and cheese. Hungover the next morning, I had a secret cheesecake brownie at Starbucks before declaring to myself I was 'really' back on low carb. Mortifying. I did end up staying very low carb for the rest of the day, though, and all told 2.8 lbs up after two weeks fucking around is not awful. But man, it's also not cool. I want to be UNFAT. Stat.

Last night and this morning I read another great book on the science of eating low carb and it has inspired me to take serious action so I can start finally posting those impressive (30 lbs! 50 lbs! 75 lbs gone! 100 lbs and fireworks! 150 lbs and spontaneous combustion caused by my hotness!!) results. If you're into low carb I highly recommend it: 

This book echoes a lot of Gary Taubes' points about carbs affecting insulin which controls both appetite and fat storage, and it also goes into more nitty gritty on how low carb diets are actually high fat diets and how that works. They also cite many encouraging studies which again emphasize how tough so-called 'balanced' diets are to stick with for those of us who are insulin resistant. For  overweight women who were put on 50% carb diets vs. 5-10% carb diets, the low carbers lost more body fat. What I thought was really fascinating was that among the women on the higher carb plan was that even when they all ate the exact same number of calories, the amount of weight lost varied greatly from person to person. Within the low carb group, weight loss was consistent among the subjects (basically because insulin and therefore insulin resistance was taken out of the equation), so again we have more proof that the simplistic 'calories in calories out' notion is flawed. Huzzah!

Meanwhile, even though I didn't do it over my first four successful weeks, I plan to start tracking my food intake- not to purposefully limit myself but to be able to track my personal ratios of fat, protein, and carbs. I think it's time to geek out and lose weight, people. Have a sweet weekend.