Two Weeks back on it

So I am pretty sure I haven't cobbled together a two week stretch of tracking and low-carbin' since April.  In the past two weeks I've been averaging 28 net carbs and about 2000 calories daily, and I've been peeing a nice mauve on my ketostix if you're into that kind of thing. On the seventh day of my streak, Adam and I went away for as night and I ate 119 carbs; mostly thanks to the two beers I had at the Stone Brewery in Escondido. By the next night after a day of 15 net carbs I was back in keto and the rest of the week was solid.

Tomorrow I need to get on the scale. Last time I weighed in was in June and I was up 7 from my lowest weight in April. That 7 seemed like a minor miracle and I'm sure as of two weeks ago when I restarted I was up at least another 7-8 lbs. Tomorrow I'm going back to weighing myself every 10 days. I can't WAIT to begin seeing a pattern of loss again.

Meanwhile, here are some of the reasons why I went back to low carb in late September:

Pants, once loose, were removed from my Work Outfit Choices due to severe constriction

A few shirts, size 26/28 (yes the largest size at many plus size store) were in fact too tight to wear in public

The bottom of my face and the crest of my cleavage were becoming besties

My ring was making this mark on my finger:

 

Emotionally, it was killing me to feel out of control with food. I was sneaking food, eating enough calories between meals to equal two extra meals, and waking up every day craving something sugary/doughy.

In the past week I've been adding some sweet tastes back in- splenda in my coffee, a coke zero with lunch, etc. but I'm not going there with two many 'extras' and I feel balanced again.

There is a long road ahead, but I'm finally feeling like I belong on it again and deserve to be losing weight. 

doing it for the streak (and health, happiness, pride, self-love, balance, etc.)

6 is kind of a medium number, isn't it? Is 6 anyone's favorite number? Is it the standard amount of anything, ever? A 'half' dozen is the only thing I can think of. At any rate, that gold 6 picture above is making rethink the importance of 6. Aaaand, I am celebrating 6 days in a row of low carb eating that has me back in keto and losing again.

On Saturday I said I wanted to get 10 hardcore days in so I could adapt- no booze, dark chocolate, almond butter, no artificial sweeteners. By Wednesday I cracked a diet coke with my lunch, so I broke the art sweetener rule but other than that, I'm not drinking, not snacking, and I'm peeing mauve on my ketostix. Tracking-wise, I'm running between 20-30 net carbs daily and between 1800-2200 calories per day. I'm already thinking about shifting to BPC in the AM and taking in just one meal at night again, but for now I'm focused on adapting and eating when I'm hungry.

Pants are looser.

Face looks better.

It started happening after only two days, and I just have to keep at it every day. At the beginning of the year I was on an approximately 90 day streak and I was feeling better than I had in about 8 years. I am building up a streak again and it starts with this big gold 6.

6 times 10 is 60 which is two months which is 1/6 of a year. I can lose 100+ lbs in a year. Now that I'm through with 6, just 359 days to go until I can post about my one year streak.

Day 1 Report

People who blog more lose more, right?

Yesterday I woke up knowing I had to recommit to very low carb- meat/fish, FATS, green vegetables, and dairy in the way of cream/cheeses.  I've found that doing Day One on a Saturday is best for me because I get pretty tired the first few days. By Tuesday I'll be used to running on ketones and feel like a million bucks.

My longterm plan is to stick with this for the rest of my life- this works and I know I can't deal with carbs/sugar.

Short-term is to dive back in and adapt fully for 10 Days; no artificial sweeteners, no diet soda, no piece of dark chocolate at the end of the night, no red wine, no almond butter.  Those things have been and will again be part of my eating but I want them to be indulgences, not daily 600 calorie 'fourth meals'.

Here's what I ate Day One-

Breakfast- coffee w 1 T coconut oil, 1 T butter, 2 T half-n-half (heavy cream is better; we were out) 

Lunch- two pieces of casserole based on Linda's chile relleno casserole 

Supper- tri-tip steak, mushrooms sauteed in butter, mashed cauliflower w butter and cheddar cheese, baby spinach salad w/ ranch

It came out to 22 net carbs and about 1860 calories. Everything I ate was simple, real food that I prepared myself. 

Last night I slept for 7 hours straight and the mystery pains I was having seem to be dissipating already.

My Sunday plan is to stay focused and get ready for a solid work week. Until tomorrow...

Fed Up

I got through two days of calorie counting and 'daily' exercise before I gave up/gave in. 'This time' was going to be different in that I thought that monitoring my calorie intake would be a balanced way to turn things around.

I was wrong.

I can't do it anymore; when I eat simple carbs I feel sick, hungry, weak, and ashamed all the time. For me, even Clif bars are a gateway drug- a breakfast of 'whole grains', coffee, and splenda lead to a cream cheese pumpkin muffin 90 minutes later, pizza three hours after that, and a 'healthy' dinner followed by eating a box of wheat thins when everyone is asleep. When I get up in the morning all I can think about is getting a muffin or having something sweet/doughy.

This week I've also been experiencing an extra cute load of finger bloat and face puffiness. On top of that, my eyes are red, I'm peeing constantly and I'm starting to suspect that my pre-diabetic self is heading firmly toward Type 2. No. No. No.

So I just watched the documentary 'Fed Up' and even though I woke up this morning knowing I had to go very low carb again and stick with it, the movie solidified what I know to be right.

The very overweight teens and preteens struggling made me cry, but the words of some of the scientists and researchers gave me hope.

To wit: The very things that we associate with lack of self-control and are believed to be what CAUSES obesity- mainly, lack of exercise and giving in to hunger and eating too much- are caused by the insulin flood that comes from eating the wrong foods. The endless loop of frustration,of course, is that once you eat the wrong foods, you get hungrier and end up eating too much food, too.

The challenge at the end of the Fed Up documentary is about getting people to give up sugar and processed foods for 10 days. I'm about 5 hours into my day and so far so good. I still have time in 2014 to feel comfortable in my skin again like I did in March- it's been a bumpy, interesting year so far but it's not over and I deserve to make every day, every week a better one.

Love yourselves this weekend, friends.

90 Days off. 102 Days on starting TODAY

June 21st I confessed and weighed in. After June 21st, I had some days of dedicated logging and there were even two weeks where I temporarily became a morning person and hit the local gym PRIOR to 7am. Those things happened. Mostly, though, I was eating sugar and processed food and moving only when I had to get out of my car and into the office.  Now it's three full months later.

Pants are still tight; I've become a floating head in the mirror. I don't want to look at myself right now- black shirt, old jeans, necklace- done.  The feeling was super acute last night when I shared a meal at a friend's house in a dining area that happened to have mirrored walls. Avoiding my side view in my right peripheral became a focus that took me away from enjoying the food and conversation. Seeing how large I am in a chair, compared to other people, is very tough.

This morning begins the remainder of 2014 which I will tackle day by day.

There is a 102 day calendar on my fridge and I LOVE that it's blank. This is the 'well the Holidays are coming up anyway..' time of year that is ripe for the fuckits. No interest in the fuckits.

I'm back on My Fitness Pal. Calorie and workout logging and I will weigh in every 20 days because I need some time to reset. I'm hoping I can back down to the June 21st weight after 2-3 weeks. I've yet to weigh in again. Deciding between getting on tomorrow AM or just waiting for 20 days in.

Off to stalk blogs and find inspiration. Happy Fall.

The Donettes and The Damage Done

Well, friends, I did it. I faced the music, I paid the piper, I looked my self in the eye, slid the dusty scale out from under the sink and stood on it. Today is the first day of summer and just like every day, it's also the first day of the rest of my life.

To recap my 2014 weight loss: Jan 2- April 22: Lost 34 lbs. Keto diet. During April I was doing Bullet Proof Coffee in the AM and fasting through dinner time. For the last two months I've been on a rollercoaster of fuck-it-blatant-carb-eating (pastry in the morning on my way to work; ice cream on the weekends, french fries) followed by a return to 'induction' for a day or two. I've added some physical activity over the last month but I wasn't getting back to the rhythm of low-carb/keto that works for me. I've felt bloated and ashamed.

This past Monday I went back to it, started tracking on My Fitness Pal, and I'm starting to feel better. Today was a 'weigh in day' and I decided not to skip it.  I am up 7 pounds. 7 lbs. I lost 34 lbs in 3.5 months and gained seven in 2 months and now I'm at 27 down for the year and 35 total since my original start.

I feel okay with that.
I feel motivated by that.
I'm confident that my body responds to low-carb eating.
I'm confident that by August 1st I will be down 40+ lbs in 2014 because I'm going back to work.

Have a good weekend, and for anyone who is in a slump or afraid to look at the scale- just do it. It may not be as bad as you think and it just might get you to kick your own ass. HAPPY SUMMER!!

the furnace in my ass

I figured since I've been posting so sporadically, I'd better go with a 'clickbait' title. The title is just okay, but that picture of a vintage furnace is really spectacular.

For reals, though, I have been moving more in the last week- some walks down on the strand, a trip to the gym, another walk around the neighborhood. I had the not-so-earth-shattering thought on my way to my car this morning that just by adding a few days of moderate exercise to my week I'm activating my body to process calories and burn fat. I can feel my body temperature rising, my muscles have that 'good ache', I'm sleeping better, and the bloat is lessening.

Today is day TWO back on low carb/keto. I am thrilled to be able to say I've logged two full days on MyFitnessPal. While I was flailing around over the last month with sugar, bread, rice, cheap milk chocolate, cinnamon roll french toast at IHOP, and other even more cringe-worthy foods, I started to have those 'maybe I should just eat in moderation' thoughts.  But then, after burping up a mouthful of chocolate ice cream Sunday night and spending a day and half feeling absolutely gross because of the cycle of overeating that starts when I allow myself simple carbs, I scrapped that idea.  I started looking at Poonapalooza's clean eating logs, I visited Carbtripper's site, and I even paid good old Craig from ruled.me for his latest downloadable cookbook (it's called keto-fied! and it's pretty good). Finally, I went over to reddit and looked at some keto photo friday before-and-afters.

This way of eating works for me, and I have to do it every day. I lost over 30 lbs in three months, and now I'm halfway through the 6th month of the year and haven't looked at the scale since April. Time slips by so fucking easily when you're feeling bad about your choices, so I'm writing again tonight because I won't stop. I also realized that even if it's not exactly 'how' I'll lose the pounds, I know that I feel better when I light the furnace- so exercise will happen at least four days per week.

Thanks so much for your comments and check-ins; I appreciate it so much.  I was down but not out, and there is another half a year of 2014 that I won't let slide by. Off to catch up on your blogs and posts...Have a good week.